Random

Praying to GOD for help, because I can't do this without him

random

i was told by a friend a couple of days ago, that i should try acting because it is something im very good at. At first i took offense as if i were being told that i was fake or something of that nature but then they went into further explanation of how I am able to hide pain or better yet, how I truly feel well. With that said I can not disagree with them. For some reason I have this thing were I always have to have on a smile for the outside world but inside I might be crying a river. So how does one know how i truly feel, i honestly don't have an answer to that question. Because someone could approach me right now and ask " Megan how are you doing today?". Even though i might be having the worst day of my life, i will kindly reply I am doing good and yourself. The other person now has nothing to go off of but what I have just given them.

random

sitting in class right now, not really paying attention to what is going on, mostly because im sleepy. I need to set myself a bedtime from here on out (lol). Side note: in love with my new cpu, and its actually quite silly since ive already had a laptop before but there is honestly something about the mac. I will be able to enjoy it even more when I get this nails shorter (lol). Had a really good conversation with two people this week; Batman and Cut. Its so crazy how these two people are almost one in the same but they play different roles in my life. Each role teaches me something new in a different way because of the perspective they are coming from. I hope the two are able to meet one day, that would be pretty cool. Im 72 days away from a new chapter in my life, there are some days that I wish I could see the future and other days I don't want to. Random thought I was having a conversation with my roomie and we were talking about the value of a "title". I think i came up with a decent analogy, think about when you get a loan for a house, you would rather get a fixed rate than an adjustable rate. Applying that to a relationship a woman would like to have something "fixed" in her life, knowing her man is exclusive, and not something "adjustable", knowing yes she has a man, but she could be sharing him with the rest of the female population. I mean think about the awkward situation when you are out with your special someone and a group of people and you have to introduce them for the first time, do you say this is my girlfriend/boyfriend or do you just say this is my friend....... There is always going to be someone on the end of that conversation second guessing what they have been introduced as if things have not be discussed before hand.

Transformation

Giving up on the thing that I value most.... LOVE
Damn! Haven't seen this side of myself in a minute but I guess it was inevitable that it was to come back.